Monday, August 29, 2005

Sayonara David Hager

Here at Lapsus Linguae, we have just learned that David Hager (please see the Lapsus of May 19, 2005, entitled "Boom-shaka-laka (the REAL story)" for details) has resigned his post as chairman of the Reproductive Health Drugs Advisory Commitee of the Federal Food and Drug Administration.

You may remember, dear readers, that Hager is an obstetrician/gynecologist, who was appointed to the chairmanship of the commitee by FDA senior associate commissioner Linda Arey Skladany, who has longstanding ties to the Bush family. Hager is the author of a book that specifically prescribes prayer and scripture readings to women suffering from migraine headaches and premenstrual syndrome, and Hager refused to prescribe contraceptives to women under his care. He also lied on his resume, saying he was a University of Kentucky professor when actually he had a voluntary part-time appointment to work with interns at Lexington's Central Baptist Hospital, only marginally connected to the University. While on the panel, he specifically opposed Plan B, the safest effective form of birth control yet invented, because he decided it was an abortifacient. And, oh, by the way, Hager's wife has publically admitted that he 1) was incredibly domineering in the household, to the point that he 2) demanded that his wife have sex with him as her duty since he paid for everything, effectively turning her into a prostitute, and that he 3) had an affair with a woman he met in a Bible study group, and 4) took advantage of his wife's recurrent narcolepsy to anally rape her, multiple times.

So long, Hager. In acknowledgement of your contributions to medical science and ethics, I encourage unmarried people of all types to have consensual, unprotected hot monkey sex.

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